Criterion Collection - Online Cinematheque

Wed 07 Oct at 03:32 PM

Alex Kuznetsov

It’s an honor just to be nominated. By the way “Potato -the movie” is coming in 2010 starring Beat Takeshi Kitano.

my top 10 of the competition:
Amy Elizabeth
Potato Problems—A Memoir
Ingo Incroyabuleux
Meat Loaf (atree3)
OOOOOOO! Meat-Less Loaf!
the meatloaf makes itself
D.J.
All Girls Are Not Called Barbara
The Engineer Makes Potatoes
Cats, Dogs, Meatloaf, and Mom

Thu 08 Oct at 12:11 AM

FAKEVAMPIRETEETH

I don’t know if I could do a top 10, but I could do a top 5 like and dislike.

Like:
1) AMY ELIZABETH – hands down, the best entry. I remember reading on the auteurs.com that the reviewer thought it was a weird entry. thinking about it, it’s probably the most conventional entry in relation to what happens in the movie. it didn’t stray far at all, yet it feels like it did.

2)Potato Problems—A Memoir
It almost seemed like this one wasn’t even created for the contest, but was found by someone in a dusty drawer from their old film school days. In any case, it had some kind of wacky Kuchar Bros. magic to it.

3) Bobo McBuggaboo
As deadpan as pot-boiling.

4) Meatloaff atree3
Creepy stuff. There is instinct in those hands.

TIE 5) OMG, What’s Wrong with Her? / Client Prepares Meatloaf
The “OMG” one, which i wrote about on youtube, turned me off at first, then i saw it again and realized the idea behind the images, however simplified that was. “Client” was just wonderful. So much character and imagination there.

Dislike in no particular order (keep in mind dislike is probably better than not being on the list at all; it means you stood out in some respect):

To Never Forget
so much attention for something so half-baked.

Submission
the same could be said about this one. it starts with a promising grand opening shot but then….?

Campfire Potatos
the radio sounded fake, for starters.

OOOOOOO! Meat-less Loaf!
ultimately this one spoke to a lot of the others as boyfriends tried to get girlfriends to volunteer their time. it had a lot of personality to it, but it just somehow seems out of place. it would win the contest for maybe a-how-do-you-make-an-entry-in-a-jeanne-dielman-contest, but not the contest itself.

Really, the biggest turn off for the first 3 Dislikes was that they had an air of entitlement to them.

Also, for the record, my entry 2 OR 3 THINGS I KNOW ABOUT JEANNE DIELMAN

Thu 08 Oct at 12:15 AM

FAKEVAMPIRETEETH

[continued from above]

Also, for the record, my entry 2 OR 3 THINGS I KNOW ABOUT JEANNE DIELMAN was not directed by the actress in the film, but by another person.

Thu 08 Oct at 05:20 AM

FAKEVAMPIRETEETH

I’m just giving you guys a hard time. I really enjoyed watching all of the entries. Seeing how each of you interpreted Jeanne Dielman was a rewarding experience. Thanks for that, and I hope all of you enjoyed yourselves as well.
Peace.

Thu 08 Oct at 02:52 PM

Jay Luna

My favorites:

The Engineer Makes Potatoes: This is my favorite entry. The storytelling is effective and humorous and the overall polish of the video (animation, lighting, etc.) testifies to the amount of work Brianruns10 put into it. The guy had to upload an SD version of his HD video because he was working until the very last second for crying out loud.

Potato Problems: A Memoir: Who wouldn’t like pretty girls running from killer potatoes? Like any good B movie this one gets a lot of mileage out of its charm despite lacking the niceties of a fancy camera work, lighting, or even sound.

Potato: Alex Kuznetsov’s video shot mostly from the Potato’s POV is both clever and fun to watch. The shot where the camera is destroyed definitely grabbed my attention.

Nana Cooks: This one didn’t seem to get much love on youtube (though it’s doing a little better than it was) but I found it both simple and creepily effective.

Amy Elizabeth, 23 Commerce Street: Of all the videos that attempted to directly reference Jeanne Dielman I thought that this was the best. It succeeds largely on the great performance of the lead who like Delphine Seyrig manages to keep our attention while doing ostensibly mundane tasks.

To go on a tangent, I was surprised and amused by the description and comment about my video “Campfire Potatoes!” We prepared for the shoot by watching the Jeanne Dielman clip, fur traders scene from Dead Man, and a lot of Fishing with John. We ended up with a riff on Brokeback Mountain (a film I have yet to see) that has an air of entitlement! I suppose the air of entitlement is a result of Jim Otopat’s tar black mustache. As soon as he grew that thing he became a total prima donna.

Thu 08 Oct at 06:33 PM

housewifery

Amy Elizabeth, 23 Commerce Street really nails it.

Thu 08 Oct at 07:39 PM

Gerry Alanguilan

Margaret Fabrizio’s Meat Loaf. No doubt about it!

Thu 08 Oct at 10:12 PM

dickcrisp

atree3 [Meat Loaf] by far the best video. this woman amazes me with her inspiration.

Thu 08 Oct at 11:22 PM

Jane Ellison

Fabrizio is fearless as ever! Had this vegetarian’s stomach churning with every squeeze. Wonderful restraint of the second hand until the crucial moment. All meaty thumbs up for first prize.

Fri 09 Oct at 01:53 AM

Peter Brownlee

Atree3’s deliciously creative Meat Loaf is beyond doubt the most the thought-provoking instructional vid presently on YT. I can’t wait to try her meat tenderizing method. This one is clearly the front runner!!!

Fri 09 Oct at 02:22 AM

Susan Danis

FABULOUS! I HOPED IT WOULD NEVER END! SUCH A BEAUTIFUL STORY!!!! FABRIZIO IS BRILLIANT!!!!!!

Fri 09 Oct at 09:18 AM

andrea

Atree 3’s Meatloaf – perfect sound for the visuals. excellent.

Fri 09 Oct at 12:44 PM

broo

Meat Loaf by atree3!

#1
for omnivores & those asking “where’s the beef?!”

Fri 09 Oct at 01:52 PM

Laura mamo

Atree3 all the way. Creepy, freaky, smart and funny

Fri 09 Oct at 03:42 PM

ELIPORTER

Anybody else think it is sketchy that so many comments in a row (that are also very similar) are all about the same video? Maybe a little shameless self-promotion here? Maybe not, but I’m just saying that it seems a bit sketchy. I won’t deny that it is a pretty good entry though.

Fri 09 Oct at 08:02 PM

Emily Nine

boy, that POTATO PROBLEMS – A MEMOIR sure is some kind of something! seems like all anyone’s talking about these days. so sick and tired of hearing about how brilliant that movie is! overrated!

Fri 09 Oct at 08:45 PM

Emily Nine

but seriously though, it was so nice to be nominated as a staff pick & to read all the wonderful comments you guys are leaving. Meg and I are so pleasantly surprised and pleased.

of the one’s I’ve seen I think my favorite was maybe Alex Kuznetsov’s. It was obvious they thought about the concept & I liked how organic the film was – and for the beautiful colors in the eating scene. also i just really liked that cute cat! I also liked Potatoes for Dinner, which was very well-produced, and Fakevampireteeth’s had really cool angles. I have the slowest internet ever so the videos are taking forever to load, but I’m doing my best to watch them all! Thanks so much you guys!

Sat 10 Oct at 01:21 AM

Molly

I very much enjoyed “My Mom Makes Meatloaf.” It stayed true to the set up and mechanics of the original Dielman excerpt, but added a natural liveliness to the kitchen that allowed for a more intimate example of cooking.

Sat 10 Oct at 12:03 PM

atree3

@ELIPORTER
(see above)
I know it looks weird, I was as surprised as you. Guess people who know me share the same opinions and live in the same time frame – out of my control.

Sat 10 Oct at 03:34 PM

ELIPORTER

Haha, fair enough man. Good luck. It’s a good video!

Sat 10 Oct at 08:13 PM

William Cadle

Client Prepares Meatloaf. It’s the only one I’ve seen that captured something of Ackerman’s film (my opinion, obviously), even the flickering light constantly going on to the side of the frame. Nice touches all around. And the frozen dinner in the microwave was a necessary counterbalance. A few of the ones I watched, it didn’t appear that the filmmaker had watched Ackerman’s movie but rather had watched the clip from it that Criterion had put up on YouTube. There are still a number of good attempts, though, and it’s a shame they can’t all be singled out.

Sat 10 Oct at 09:51 PM

Jenny

@ William Cadle

I don’t see how you can think that “Client Prepares Meatloaf” captured something of Ackerman’s film, yet “Amy Elizabeth, 23 Commerce Street” didn’t. It was clearly made by someone who’d watched the entire film. It’s hardly even a matter of opinion.

Sat 10 Oct at 10:02 PM

ELIPORTER

I gotta agree with JENNY here. There are quite a few that have obviously seen more than just the clip on youtube.

Sat 10 Oct at 11:41 PM

Todd Norcia

While Client Prepares Meatloaf and Amy Elizabeth are well-done entries, I just thought I should point out Criterion’s contest rules from the original contest announcement page:

“What does it look like when YOU cook on camera? Now’s your chance to show us! In honor of the release of Jeanne Dielman on DVD, we’re sponsoring the world’s first Jeanne Dielman–Criterion Collection Cooking Video Contest. Make a video of yourself (or someone else) cooking 1) meat loaf, 2) cutlets, or 3) potatoes.”

Unless I’m reading this wrong, it seems like the contest was more in honor of the release of Jeanne Dielman, but was first and foremost an open-ended cooking video contest. It does not explicitly state anywhere that the video must capture the essence of Jeanne Dielman or somehow demonstrate a profound knowledge of the film. Rather, unless I’m misreading Criterion completely, the vague and open-ended contest “rules” were a conscious effort to elicit an eclectic array of responses, which is exactly what occurred. I think it’s a bit unfair to write off any video that did not “capture the feel of Jeanne Dielman,” since that wasn’t what the contest was specifically about. Some of the videos that DID do this (such as Client and Amy) are great entries, but a LOT of other entries should be commended for taking the rules and running with them. Overall, most everyone did a great job making the contest their own, which I believe was the spirit of the contest in the first place.

Sun 11 Oct at 01:20 AM

David J. White

“Amy Elizabeth” was my entry, but I agree with Todd Norcia. I was actually surprised that mine was received well, since it wasn’t really a cooking video, but from the start I knew I was going to use this contest as an opportunity to homage the film (kind of spoof it lovingly), just cause I thought it’d be fun to play with (and because I love Akerman’s film). But yeah, the rules were open-ended so I figured if I just peeled & boiled potatoes, that’d qualify me as a “cooking video”. haha. My intentions with the film were definitely elsewhere though. whoops

On that note, my two favorite entries, “Potato” and “I Want Potatoes For Dinner”, didn’t replicate Jeanne Dielman’s style. I think the former deserves the Grand Prize, and the latter was amazingly put together. My other favorites were: “Bobo McBuggaboo”(i think i laughed the whole 9 minutes), “A Nice Lady Makes Potatoes,” (beautifully shot and charming) “OOOOOO! Meat-less Loaf” (i’ll admit, it wasn’t until reading Glenn Kenny’s blog that I actually watched this whole thing and loved it; i thought the audio was out of sync by mistake :P), “All Girls Are Not Called Barbara” (a really exciting entry after so many boring ones; i especially liked the use of "Sabrina"), “Campfire Potatoes” (reminded me of David Lynch’s “The Cowboy and the Frenchman”; very absurd), and “Meatloaf” (by atree3; really grossed me out).

I didn’t like: “Dinner for One” (felt like a poor man’s Lost in Translation; bored me), “To Never Forget” (pretentious; too long), “Chef Goes Bonkers” (unfunny, but thought it was funny) and “Preheat” (weakly acted; not charming like it thought it was).

That’s that. Overall this was alot of fun, and I’m glad that such a contest even exists. I’m not sure who else but Criterion would’ve thrown a contest based on “Jeanne Dielman 23, Commerce Street, 1080 Bruxelles”. Weirdos!

Sun 11 Oct at 01:31 AM

ELIPORTER

Just a thought…people with entries in the contest should not put down which entries they did not like. It’s not very intelligent and, although it is idealistic to think that people are mature enough to accept criticism, begs for poor revenge ratings. I also feel like criticizing other shorts in a contest full of amateur filmmakers paying homage to the movie or playing off it should probably not be so high and mighty about their opinions on the films. I don’t really feel like bothering to try and continue this, but I think it’s irresponsible, immature, and frankly just stupid. So before you go dissing those that you did not like, maybe you should think twice. To say that anything has an “air or entitlement” or “pretentious” or “unfunny” is really a bit of a dick move since the people making these videos will be on this board. That actually would give you an air of entitlement, or more simply, make you an arrogant asshole. Just a thought. I will not bother to come back to this board because of some of the personalities, so don’t bother with responding to it. I just had to get it off my chest before I left.

Sun 11 Oct at 01:39 AM

David J. White

I’ll respond anyway. I think everyone who entered is a grown-up, and will still be able to sleep at night knowing that I didn’t like their film. I can’t help it (nor would I care to) if someone gets butt-hurt enough about my criticism to “revenge rate” me. hahaha. It’d have been no different if I’d left a negative comment on Youtube under their video (and plenty of the entries got those). It’s not stupid or unintelligent of me, nor am I arrogant. You’re doling out judgment a little more harshly than I am, to be honest.

Sun 11 Oct at 03:23 AM

Alex

Some of my favorites (in no particular order):

The Engineer Makes Potatoes – wonderful animation and fun story
I Want Potatoes for Dinner – very very funny, nice music
Amy Elizabeth, 23, Commerce Street – really captures the spirit of the movie
Meat Loaf (atree3) – those hands are magical
All Girls Are Not Called Barbara – another funny, irrelevant entry
OOOOOOOOOOO Meat-less Loaf – really entertaining, a real character
Potato (alex k) – cool idea, wish I had thought of it

All in all I really enjoyed this competition and it’s really fun to see everyone’s responses. Apparentely people here have not enjoyed my entry, but oh well. You win some and you lose some. Congrats to whoever wins and I’m really glad to see such a great turn out for the contest. It’s exciting! Anyway, best of luck to everyone.

Sun 11 Oct at 09:15 AM

William Cadle

I feel a responsibility to respond since, first, what I wrote has received specific criticism, and, second, seems to be the source of most comments after mine. Jenny, if you re-read my post, you’ll note that I did not mention Amy Elizabeth, 23, Commerce Street at all — I neither praised it nor condemned it. I didn’t mention it. At all. I also noted that it was “my opinion, obviously,” which it is. I found Amy Elizabeth smartly done, but it didn’t keep me engaged, which Client did, and, again, I liked the small, more subtle touches with Client. I also did not specify any filmmaker as not having watched the movie; I noted that “A few of the ones I watched…” Nowhere did I suggest that Amy Elizabeth (since I didn’t mention it at all) was done by someone who had not seen the film. So, in effect, I do not disagree with either you (or Eli)…it seems you both disagree with me, but it’s a disagreement based on an erroneous reading of my post.

Todd, you make a good point; however, we viewers will all make determinations based on other criteria besides…um…Criterion. I chose ones that played off the film, honored the film, and found an interesting approach to Criterion’s….criteria (Christ!). I didn’t assess all the films I watched on whether they accomplished these goals; I did it only when it came time to select a single film I wanted to recognize.

I do agree with you in that I think everyone did a good job, ran with the idea, and came out with some interesting results; some were funny, some were…strange, but all deserve recognition for their efforts. As part of my job where I work, I make videos for my department from time to time. I know my limitations and that I’m not up to the standards most of these people have achieved with their efforts.

Although I prefer not to single out any particular films I did not like, I agree with David in that if you put your work out there, you’re going to have accept some criticism. Ideally, the criticism is constructive…calling something “pretentious” is not and says more about the critic than anything else. It’s a word used in laziness, when sorting through one’s thoughts and feelings for a more exact understanding proves too demanding. Step back and study the use, and you’ll usually find that it’s chosen out of an insecurity for not having a better understanding of the work or why you responded so negatively to it. Good luck with your entry.
Wm

Mon 12 Oct at 05:27 PM

Sean Bryan

You have to be kidding me… The Engineer Makes Potatoes didn’t get a Staff Pick?

It was the only entry completely imagined entry from start to finish. Heads above everything else.

Mon 12 Oct at 05:29 PM

Sean Bryan

“It was the only entry completely imagined entry from start to finish. Heads above everything else”

Should have read: “It was the only entry completely imagined from start to finish. Heads above everything else.”

I blame it on watching the Bored to Death pilot in the background.

Mon 12 Oct at 06:52 PM

Brian Jameson

What do you mean “only entry completely imagined from start to finish”?

Mon 12 Oct at 07:28 PM

Sean Bryan

“What do you mean ‘only entry completely imagined from start to finish’?”

Nobody else hired a production designer to build sets or an animator to bring their characters to life.

I sense you want to debate imagination, but in context, the word I emphasized was completely. And no, there’s no splitting hairs, his entry required more imagination. The medium demanded it.

Wed 14 Oct at 12:10 PM

Brian Rose

Thanks for all the great comments about “The Engineer Makes Potatoes.” It was a great challenge to pull off in the time given, since I filled every role of production: scripting, storyboarding, set design, animation, lighting, editing and sound design. Interestingly, building the set took almost as long as the animation! It was by far the most complex set up I’d done before, and in far shorter time.

Here’s a link for those who may not have seen it, or want to see it again!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BWtowAmC2u0

Wed 14 Oct at 02:39 PM

David Chien

Congratulations to all on their efforts and contributions. It has been interesting to see the various interpretations of Jeanne Dielman and the contest requisites. May the best man/woman win.

That said, I wanted to do a repost on my short film. For those interested, I thought it would be worthwhile to provide the link below. It would mean a lot to me for those who’ve yet to make a decision on their favorite entry to watch mine (again or for the first time). For your consideration, as they say.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nPg5x8lslhQ

Thanks again,

D.

Wed 14 Oct at 10:30 PM

John Simmins

I noticed a lot of positive comments about Amy Elizabeth, but I found it very boring. It really copied the Akerman film and did not branch out on its own at all, very pretentious, and after reading his little comment about his own work further just only further proves the pretentiousness of it!

The Engineer Makes Potatoes was the most creative!

Wed 14 Oct at 10:36 PM

Adam Keegan

I agree with John Simmins about Amy Elizabeth… and I was reading DAVID J. WHITE’s, (the maker of this short I guess), little blurb above, hilarious, he calls other people’s works poor-man versions, and boring and I think he even called one pretentious,
Well David, take a closer look at your own work and what you say… EGOs

Wed 14 Oct at 10:52 PM

Tristan Borthwick

Agreed with the two above comments…

Thu 15 Oct at 12:57 AM

Daniel Kennedy

I keep coming back to “I Want Potatoes For Dinner.” Maybe it’s because it feels completely “whole.” I feel it acts as one of the best responses to the the contest rules because I forget about the rules themselves while I’m watching it until the very end when the point hits me, which also makes it stand on it’s own perfectly well outside of the contest’s context which is a bonus for them.

Thu 15 Oct at 12:59 AM

Allison Malatesta

Haha. I was just reading through all the comments and I too feel that I have to agree with the last 3 above about David’s Amy Elizabeth. I thought it was ok, I didn’t care for it too much. A lot of people seamed to like it and posted some nice comments which appear to have gone right to that David guy’s head. It reminds of that character ENO from the movie Art School Confidential.
If your a film buff you’ll know the character. He’s the pretentious one who writes his name 3 times ENO ENO ENO for his self portrait.

and this David guys last little comment

“Overall this was alot of fun, and I’m glad that such a contest even exists. I’m not sure who else but Criterion would’ve thrown a contest based on “Jeanne Dielman 23, Commerce Street, 1080 Bruxelles”. Weirdos!”

- good way of kissing criterion’s ass

Thu 15 Oct at 02:04 AM

TJ Ceron

How is anything David said arrogant? If anything, he’s being humble, considering he said he was “surprised” his video was recieved well. I guess the “Amy Elizabeth 23 Commerce Street” backlash was inevitable. And I find it amusing that David isn’t allowed to call an entry pretentious but you’re allowed to call his that.

He’s also not the only person in these comments to have listed entries he disliked, so these negative comments come off a little bit like jealousy! I don’t see any of these recent comments going after fakevampireteeth’s “self entitlement” comment. Stop being petty, people! “Amy Elizabeth” was a great entry.

Thu 15 Oct at 04:31 AM

GOD

You don’t need to register and you can put any name you want when you leave a comment here. That is a reason enough not to take any of the comments seriously.

I commend Criterion for being forward thinking and so accommodating to their loyal fans by making a contest like this happen. It’s mostly great.

Letting the youtube community rate the films was very revealing of the entrants’ integrity. My entry for example received 45% 1-star rating, 45% 5-star ratings and 10% 2-3-4-star ratings. I’m sure there isn’t a single entry out there that hasn’t received multiple 1-star ratings. I don’t think any video deserves a 1-star rating unless it is offensive! Rating others 1-star just to make your own seem better rated is very similar to bank robbers killing off each other to get a bigger share.

I really hated “I want Dinner for Potatoes” and “Millenium”.
JUST KIDDING! Giving you an example of how tactless it is of anyone (who is not a film critic) to criticize efforts of others.

It’s true however that none of the videos are as good as this:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-azqXygCzO8

Thu 15 Oct at 04:41 AM

Alex

Kudos God

Thu 15 Oct at 05:08 AM

David J. White

Yeah, it’s difficult to take the last three remarks leveled against my film seriously when all three were arguably written by the same person:

John Simmins: “…after reading his little comment about his own work…”

Adam Keegan: “…DAVID J. WHITE’s, (the maker of this short I guess), little blurb above, hilarious…”

Allison Malatesta: “…this David guys last little comment…”

Thu 15 Oct at 08:28 AM

Emily

I’m surprised no one is talking about “Submission”. One person said it was pretentious, but I agree with whoever said that that says more about the critic than the film itself. hah. anyway, I imagine no one is talking about “Submission” because they didn’t watch it the whole way through. I had to watch it twice to understand that this wasn’t just any old contest “submission”. The main character is giving us a lesson in submission. You can see it throughout the entire film, at the beginning when the bikers merrily ride past and he just shakes his head. While he’s enjoying his last cigar, thoughtfully looking around and sort of looking bizarrely contented. When he’s making his last meal, but doesn’t want to go out with a sink full of potato peels. His expression at the end is brilliant. He knew what was coming; he could have screamed, cried, run, hid—but he didn’t. He prepared his favorite meal, smoked his favorite cigar, and quietly waits. He has submitted.

Thu 15 Oct at 08:48 AM

Jos

I’d like to give a nod to Allison Almodovar’s comic masterpiece (“Allison’s Response to Jeanne Dielman Criterion Cooking Contest”).

Thu 15 Oct at 09:31 AM

Allison Malatesta

David, you could not be more wrong, haha,
but you can keep telling yourself that

Thu 15 Oct at 10:30 PM

Brian Schmidt

Anonymous comments and youtube ratings are the downfall of this contest.

Fri 16 Oct at 12:00 AM

Nathan Sakulich

Reading what Brian just wrote is the only thing worth listening to here.

Fri 16 Oct at 03:37 PM

Zara Bloom

Is everyone just fighting with each other? It is my assertion that everyone who is participating in this board are the filmmakers. There really isn’t anything constructive going on in this discussion. It would be nice to discuss the films, how they were made, etc. Instead of: "I think my films is great because.. " or "i’m not pretentious but you are… " I’m just giving my opinion.

Fri 16 Oct at 05:45 PM

Emily Nine

whoa whoa whoa, this thread is blowing up! let’s all just calm down, vote my video 5 stars http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l5RfOXObMgI , and get on with our criterion lives!

Sat 17 Oct at 12:29 AM

ADAM KEEGAN

Just because I agreed with the comment above me doesn’t mean I’m the same person??? that doesn’t even make sense… I didn’t enter the contest but I was going through the lot of the videos and I just though some constructive criticism would have been better than saying this one bored me or that was unfunny ….
anyways nothing to make a big fuss over…

Sun 18 Oct at 08:01 AM

S Charlton

lets just never listen to any criticism ever…

that way everyone’s movies will be treated equally and with fairness and kidness…

because if you work on something, it obviously means it is a masterpiece…

boohoo

Mon 19 Oct at 09:24 PM

Pariah

See this…http://www.vimeo.com/6803182