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Take Two & Call Me in the Morning

by Drew Phillips

Created 10/28/12

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Bizarre doctors, strange hospitals, and sickening cures for ghastly ailments. We're getting gooey here, people.

  • The two most notorious MDs in the collection, the Mantle Bros. built their gynecological empire from the ground up with sheer intellect, only to have it crushed by bodily sin and obsession in the most Cronenberg kind of way.

  • Psychiatrists falling in some fairly misguided love. A brilliant thriller and my favorite film Hitchcock ever made, the Dali segment is just icing on the cake.

  • Spuddy is back to take us down a medical rabbit hole traveling through sweat lodges to Asian mystics to cure a rare eye ailment in the best adaptation (visually) of any of his monologues. Pure gold right here.

  • The war hospital is great setting for a classic who-dun-it story like this and the operating theatre is the perfect scene for a murder.

  • Always find your own doctor, never let your creepy, possibly satanic neighbors pick one for you.

  • Ol' Doc Moreau has done it again! These mutants run rampant and just don't stop! Laughton is fantastic and Lugosi is fun in his little part.

  • The craziest mad doctor we've ever had the great luck to see portrayed on the screen and my personal favorite (loose) adaptation of the classic Shelley novel. He's one sick s.o.b. Have you seen what he does with gallbladders?!?!

  • Speaking of frightening docs, here's one that has tricks up his sleeves so far that they're bumping into his stethoscope.

  • Never take psychological advice from Hannibal Lecter. Especially if he has an empty stomach and some fava beans on stand by...

  • A lot like Patch Adams, Doctor Genessier was very experimental. Yet where they differ was in their practice, Patch's being clearly more disturbing. Clown noses. [shudder]

  • Here's some classic surgeons who's experimental practices paved new ways for the development of plastic surgery. And calling him the "acid man" is terribly rude. Just because the complications had complications and a few patients died doesn't mean you should start sullying his name.

  • Obsession is a frightful game, but after a while maybe you truly can achieve your dream...or just go mad and kill

  • That is the most straight forward and hypocritical doctor to ever grace the silver screen, and is perfectly Bunuel-ian.

  • Turning the pages of a book is a terrible task, you should devise a mental contraption that can harness brainwaves. That'll work. Or spawn "mental-vampires". You never know 'till you try.

  • He's a doctor of journalism man! He knows what he's raving about!

  • The secret to this mystery lies in a subtle physician portrayed perfectly the always reliable Leo G. Carroll in one of his best surprise roles.

  • Some unfortunate people picked the wrong hospital to go to that night...

  • A conspiracy spun around three mysterious men, Lime's own driver and his doctor, Dr. Wynkle. Sorry, Vynkle.

  • This comedy contains one of the most horrifying hospital scenes in all 80s cinema, it's fascinating and Grant's performance is brilliant.

  • This dentist has a lot on his plate lately...

  • These girls need some serious psychiatric help...just not from William "Winslow" Finley

  • Dr. Hirsh has hit segment of his life that no one can diagnose...

  • Wow, I should become a doctor, they have fascinating sex lives....

  • It's stuff like this that reinforces my fear of pills...

  • Doctor, Olympic medalist, politician. Martyr. Montand embodies this multifaceted main perfectly, up until his plot specific demise in one of my favorite movies of all time!

  • A nurse who should be more accustomed to death but seems to more infatuated with cash end of it all

  • Naughty Nancy is the nurse for you...

2 comments

  • By Craig J. Clark
    October 30, 2012
    12:07 PM

    A stellar list, sir. One omission: Antichrist. Willem Dafoe learns the true meaning of the saying "Physician, heal thyself."
    Reply
  • By Eric Levy
    February 28, 2014
    01:39 PM

    What a great idea for a list--and very thorough. One possible addition: SHOCK CORRIDOR.
    Reply