• Kurosawa’s Birthday Month, Day 5

    Congratulations to yesterday’s winners, Joe and Michael! Joe’s Hollywood-style tagline for Ikiru was:

    This summer: Death is only the beginning.

    And Michael’s, for Rashomon, was:

    He said. She said. He said. He said.

    March is Akira Kurosawa month at Criterion. On the twenty-third, the great Japanese filmmaker would have been one hundred years old. For this centennial celebration, we will be posting trivia questions and other contests all month, and giving away a different prize every weekday.

    Today’s prompt:

    Write a caption for the following image.

    Kurosawa THRONE OF BLOOD caption image
    Please respond by commenting below, and we’ll choose our favorite on Monday. You must leave a valid e-mail address to be eligible for the prize (a Throne of Blood DVD).

    Contests

260 comments

  • By Parham Paydar
    March 05, 2010
    04:33 PM

    That'll be 2.50.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By TJ Wells
    March 05, 2010
    04:34 PM

    Excuse me, waiter? My bread wasn't sliced fully.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Todd
    March 05, 2010
    04:38 PM

    "Is it just me, or does the Taco Bell delivery guy's uniform seem a bit more intense lately?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dan Chung
    March 05, 2010
    04:38 PM

    "It rubs the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Matthew Buckwalter
    March 05, 2010
    04:38 PM

    That better NOT be another head!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By digitaldiatribe
    March 05, 2010
    04:38 PM

    THAT'S THE POWER OF ZORBEEZ.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jose
    March 05, 2010
    04:38 PM

    I was ONLY one minute late!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Lucas Kollauf
    March 05, 2010
    04:38 PM

    Leno is back?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Sam Hurwitt
    March 05, 2010
    04:38 PM

    I'm not falling for that one again. You always pull it away just before I kick it.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jon Hillman
    March 05, 2010
    04:38 PM

    Here is the traitor's head that you asked for, sir. May I now know the secret to saving 15% or more on my car insurance?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Galen
    March 05, 2010
    04:39 PM

    Place ALL your Trick or Treat candy on the floor and leave.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Luke Moses
    March 05, 2010
    04:39 PM

    It's just a flesh wound
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Fred O
    March 05, 2010
    04:39 PM

    Sorry I'm late: the barista was new and gyped me on the doppio. And I'm afraid the maple long johns got crushed in my saddlebags.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By CJ Roy
    March 05, 2010
    04:39 PM

    If you are found to be in violation of waste disposal laws, you may be fined up to $1,000 and/or made to commit seppuku.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By M Burch
    March 05, 2010
    04:39 PM

    "Good, now I want you to take that and trade it for more arrows. More arrows is never a bad thing right?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ben Jackson
    March 05, 2010
    04:39 PM

    My deepest apologies, we were out of spicy chicken nuggets.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Fantastic
    March 05, 2010
    04:39 PM

    "I love your mock formality"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Justin Johnson
    March 05, 2010
    04:40 PM

    First you place the bag of poo on the doorstep, like so...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Sean Robison
    March 05, 2010
    04:40 PM

    "Bring out the Gimp"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By RAUL ARTHUSO
    March 05, 2010
    04:40 PM

    Luke, I'm your father!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andrew Bacon
    March 05, 2010
    04:41 PM

    "Well Lord Washizu, you see, we were doing our anual Samurai Baseball game and Miki...well...wound up a head on a plate."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ranylt Richildis
    March 05, 2010
    04:41 PM

    Head! Down!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mike
    March 05, 2010
    04:41 PM

    "You're lucky I didn't rub your nose in it first!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Sean Witzke
    March 05, 2010
    04:41 PM

    Now, I KNOW you weren't standing there the whole time! ... Put my wife's underpants down and get out.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Diego Amenábar
    March 05, 2010
    04:41 PM

    Let's send troops to help Chilean earthquake victims
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ross McClintock
    March 05, 2010
    04:41 PM

    Kneel before Zod!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Charlie Poekel
    March 05, 2010
    04:42 PM

    "At last, Lindbergh's baby!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andrew
    March 05, 2010
    04:42 PM

    I know it doesn't look like much now, but one day we will all be playing Kuro-Ball.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Britt
    March 05, 2010
    04:42 PM

    I said I wanted it "ON A PLATTER"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dylan Cassidy
    March 05, 2010
    04:42 PM

    I said I wanted SARDINES on my pizza!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Casey Burchby
    March 05, 2010
    04:43 PM

    "You blocked the sack. Most impressive. The Imperial Ice Hockey Federation has a new goalie."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Julio P.
    March 05, 2010
    04:43 PM

    "I'm sorry, young man, but 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles III' is filming in studio lot 2B."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By vagabond
    March 05, 2010
    04:43 PM

    Is this the head of Alfredo Garcia?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Kevin Longrie
    March 05, 2010
    04:44 PM

    What's in the box? WHAT'S IN THE BOX? Her pretty little head.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Terence Smith
    March 05, 2010
    04:44 PM

    I'm glad you Fed Ex guys have finally figured it out, not leave it on the doorstep!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By AZ
    March 05, 2010
    04:44 PM

    What, another bomb in my bedroom ?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Adam
    March 05, 2010
    04:44 PM

    What's in the bag? What's in the f*&^ing bag!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By David R
    March 05, 2010
    04:44 PM

    Sir, I know you hate Larry's BBQ, but it's all that was open this late, and...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jaime Grijalba
    March 05, 2010
    04:44 PM

    "So... What was the last deadly sin?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Doug Tilley
    March 05, 2010
    04:45 PM

    Football in feudal Japan was a baffling ordeal.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Chalkie
    March 05, 2010
    04:45 PM

    You should have seen the look on his face!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Trey Lawson
    March 05, 2010
    04:46 PM

    "That's right - just run and kick it. Of course I'm not going to pull it out of the way!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Coffin Jon
    March 05, 2010
    04:46 PM

    Batter up!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By vishnu
    March 05, 2010
    04:46 PM

    I present...the head of Alfredo Garcia,
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By R. Yu
    March 05, 2010
    04:47 PM

    Little known fact: pre-production rehersal began on Kurogane's presentation of Lady Sue's head to Lady Kaede a full 28 years before the release of Ran.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ryan Hibbett
    March 05, 2010
    04:48 PM

    If you think I look bad you should see the other guy.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By YiFeng You
    March 05, 2010
    04:48 PM

    Get yo' crap outta here!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Nathan Cone
    March 05, 2010
    04:49 PM

    No, I said to bring me the head of Miki, *not* Alfredo Garcia!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By G.P. James
    March 05, 2010
    04:49 PM

    Wax on ! Wax off!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By DQ Thompson
    March 05, 2010
    04:49 PM

    And not so much starch this time!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Justin Tomblin
    March 05, 2010
    04:50 PM

    wait...you want a tip? heres one: get up out my face fool.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By jesus sanchez
    March 05, 2010
    04:50 PM

    "OH NO! I FORGOT TO GET YOUR KFC FAMOUS BOWL!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Patrick Johnson
    March 05, 2010
    04:50 PM

    Emperor, I defuse this bomb in your honor. If I fail, the suit will protect me.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mark Bowers
    March 05, 2010
    04:50 PM

    Your dribbling must improve if you wish to join the Japanese basketball team for the next Olympics.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By watisthis Idon'teven
    March 05, 2010
    04:51 PM

    Oh god I'm sorry! I'm always so clumsy with wine.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Sean Robinson
    March 05, 2010
    04:51 PM

    Ugh! I wanted Sachiko's head, not Sumiyo's head!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Gustavo H. Razera
    March 05, 2010
    04:52 PM

    "At long last. I was STARVING!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mike
    March 05, 2010
    04:54 PM

    Sir, Sir, Sir!!! I got present for you!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ryan Carroll
    March 05, 2010
    04:55 PM

    "I present to you, your prize - a 'Throne of Blood' DVD"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Stan
    March 05, 2010
    04:55 PM

    "I don't give a damn about your favourite jigsaw — you're not the gimp I asked for."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dan Sessoms
    March 05, 2010
    04:56 PM

    Sorry sir, we were out of fortune cookies. *kashing!* Oh sh....
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jon Sheffer
    March 05, 2010
    04:56 PM

    "Ah! Perfect. Right there will do. That'll really tie the room together."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By M. Grace
    March 05, 2010
    04:56 PM

    For the last time, you can't carve a pumpkin with your mind!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mark Pil
    March 05, 2010
    04:57 PM

    "Sir, I bring you your royal bowling ball, freshly polished."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Kevin
    March 05, 2010
    04:57 PM

    I asked for a Bento box!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Woody
    March 05, 2010
    04:57 PM

    It will shine! I want to see my face in that floor!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Christopher R
    March 05, 2010
    04:58 PM

    Three's company.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Brent Smith
    March 05, 2010
    04:58 PM

    ... of lettuce, you fool! What do you think I made you a grocery list for?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Chris Storrow
    March 05, 2010
    04:59 PM

    You have a cease and desist, you say? From a Mister...Shakespeare?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Tron
    March 05, 2010
    04:59 PM

    "If you want to take care of this baby, you will learn how to put on a diaper properly and not suffocate him"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Brent Smith
    March 05, 2010
    04:59 PM

    ... of lettuce, you fool! What do you think I made you a grocery list for?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Josh G.
    March 05, 2010
    05:03 PM

    "I HOPE you got the right hat this time!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jacob Olsen
    March 05, 2010
    05:03 PM

    «At his older days, Vader had grown more humble in his approach.»
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jessica Schneider
    March 05, 2010
    05:05 PM

    I promise I'll pick up my dog poo from now on!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Rob Glenn
    March 05, 2010
    05:06 PM

    Everybody's drinking and smoking all the time! Were people always drunk in the fifties? It's a good show, though. Kinda slow.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Greg E.
    March 05, 2010
    05:06 PM

    This week on extreme bowling, our contestants will have to get a strike while avoiding sword-blows and their spouses' taunts. First up is Akira Watanabe from Setagaya, Tokyo!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Savannah
    March 05, 2010
    05:08 PM

    -"Kneel" -"Dennis"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ali Shojaee
    March 05, 2010
    05:08 PM

    When I open this, you laugh and she screams, then she looks at you with an evil look and you will look at him with lust.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Phil
    March 05, 2010
    05:09 PM

    Yes, yes, bottom of the ninth, no outs, tie game...then what happened?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andrew T
    March 05, 2010
    05:09 PM

    "Ok, my Lord, when I lift this bowl you better be ready. There's like 3 cockroaches under here... You said you were ready!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Scott McGee
    March 05, 2010
    05:09 PM

    Head on the ground...head on the ground...looking like a fool with your head on the ground...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mark Kawakami
    March 05, 2010
    05:09 PM

    Ok, ok, I get it! I'm not popular enough to have lunch at the cool kids tatami, fine! I'll go sit by the goth ninjas and listen to their lame haikus.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ronald Pabon
    March 05, 2010
    05:11 PM

    I specifically requested it to be in a DUFFEL BAG!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Matt
    March 05, 2010
    05:12 PM

    Look around. Do you see any cake? Do you see any crying children in pointy hats? It was yesterday! You forgot my birthday again.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By JS
    March 05, 2010
    05:13 PM

    I never would have taken Flomax had I known about these side effects.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Buddy Hedrick
    March 05, 2010
    05:13 PM

    Who says he can't have it??? The man in the funny hat!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Garrett Yim
    March 05, 2010
    05:13 PM

    "What's in the bag? A shark or something?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Zimb
    March 05, 2010
    05:14 PM

    Its nice to see storks taking extra precautions with our babies these days.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Patrick
    March 05, 2010
    05:14 PM

    "Wait a minute...I thought storks delivered babies!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Timothy King
    March 05, 2010
    05:15 PM

    Sir, I have your food, but forgive me for the paucity of wasabi.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Gene O'Brien
    March 05, 2010
    05:15 PM

    "Yes, I realize that you are new, but our pooper scooper laws require DAILY pick-up. Not once a week."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Alex Topich
    March 05, 2010
    05:16 PM

    I knew with all my mother's bickering, it would come to this.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jason Metcalfe
    March 05, 2010
    05:18 PM

    "Is that my espresso machine? Wh-how did you get my espresso machine?" "Well -uh - we fuckin stole it man"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By James Mulligan
    March 05, 2010
    05:19 PM

    "Yes, right there! How many times do I have to tell you, never question my judgment in Feng Shui!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jonathan Buck
    March 05, 2010
    05:19 PM

    "Maybe next year"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Brian F.
    March 05, 2010
    05:19 PM

    Please, Sir, I want some more...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By joshua jordon
    March 05, 2010
    05:20 PM

    Great, another head. You're as bad as the cat.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Kyleshaw707
    March 05, 2010
    05:22 PM

    awww what's in the box? What's in the f!#king box?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Sue G
    March 05, 2010
    05:22 PM

    Arnold was desperate to get good magic gigs, but when the guy on the phone started talking about wearing an odd rubber suit he got a bit nervous. Now here he was having to perform on his knees and the couple in the kinomos, did they have anything on under there? And what's with the sword?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ted Lewis
    March 05, 2010
    05:23 PM

    "Yes, Sire. I got your rainbow maki. It almost killed me, but I got it."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Eric Vilhelmsen
    March 05, 2010
    05:24 PM

    "...and what do you call this act?" "The Aristocrats!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Tom S
    March 05, 2010
    05:24 PM

    My lord Leno... the Masturbating Bear will not bother us anymore.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Tony J
    March 05, 2010
    05:25 PM

    "You found an abandoned baby in front of our door? Well that's what I call a coincidence! Because we were just... WHAT!?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Sue
    March 05, 2010
    05:29 PM

    We didn't order take-out!!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By JAH9000
    March 05, 2010
    05:30 PM

    My insurance agent asked me to hold on to this package. ...Is it gettin' hot in here, or what? --- Or: OK, OK, *you* have the stupidest-looking hat. No need to pull a sword on me.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Xian
    March 05, 2010
    05:30 PM

    "California, tell your people to stay away. Stay away now, don't - don't come in here. Whatever you hear, stay away! John Doe has the upper hand! "
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jean-Michel Decombe
    March 05, 2010
    05:31 PM

    Head or... epic fail!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Scott Simms
    March 05, 2010
    05:32 PM

    Sir, I have bought you the head of Alfredo Garcia.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andrew M
    March 05, 2010
    05:33 PM

    I've brought something that I think will really tie the room together...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Chris Chua
    March 05, 2010
    05:33 PM

    PORKCHOP SANDWICHES!!!!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Rob
    March 05, 2010
    05:36 PM

    "Blue 42!...Blue 42! ... Nah, I'm just messin'. Here's your head back, you guys."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mark Schneider
    March 05, 2010
    05:38 PM

    "Tensions mount as the Japanese Olympic curling team releases their final stone..."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Joe Topich
    March 05, 2010
    05:38 PM

    "He calls himself a warrior, and all he brings us is a head in a bag."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By scott Simms
    March 05, 2010
    05:39 PM

    Sir, I have misplaced 7 heads and the duffle bag.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Roy Baugher
    March 05, 2010
    05:41 PM

    "Like the new UPS uniforms. Do you need me to sign for this?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Justin Moffitt
    March 05, 2010
    05:44 PM

    "This "guy making a levitating sculpture" sculpture sucks!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By RYAN MCGLADE
    March 05, 2010
    05:45 PM

    "What is this?" "Obviously you're not a golfer."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jim Tudor
    March 05, 2010
    05:47 PM

    ...Pot-holder Man suit... bad idea... for costume party... over-heating... passing out now...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jason Dickason
    March 05, 2010
    05:48 PM

    "Let's not fight. Look, I brought us a picnic."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Xian Hoke
    March 05, 2010
    05:50 PM

    Leave the katana, take the Mochi
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Narukami
    March 05, 2010
    05:50 PM

    "I know you ordered Schezwan, but Cantonese was all I could find ..."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By ALI HAMMOUDI
    March 05, 2010
    05:53 PM

    Can't wait to get a slice of that watermelon
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mike Denbo
    March 05, 2010
    05:58 PM

    "Do not disturb my circles"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By NmDPlm
    March 05, 2010
    05:59 PM

    I don't understand. usually he's such a good dog. I'll just clean this up.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Stephen Huss
    March 05, 2010
    06:01 PM

    They say a human head really pulls the room together.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Scott Stewart
    March 05, 2010
    06:02 PM

    "Something tells me that's not your QVC order, dear." or "All you had to wrap it in was Sham-Wow?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Alcebiades Diniz
    March 05, 2010
    06:03 PM

    Excuse me, Sir, I'm late. There is a lot of heavy traffic around your castle.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mikey O
    March 05, 2010
    06:04 PM

    oh hai! i brought you this bumble ball from 1995!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Kerin Ogg
    March 05, 2010
    06:04 PM

    In this memorable scene from Throne of Blood, Lady Asaji looks on as Lord Washizu and a retainer prepare to engage in basuketto-ryu, the refined yet deadly art of the picnic lunch. (Famously referenced by Godard at the conclusion of Week End.)
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andrew Strauss
    March 05, 2010
    06:05 PM

    Is it too late for a picnic?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Trey Smith
    March 05, 2010
    06:08 PM

    "Nope, sorry, it didn't arrive in 30 minutes or less, seppuku for you."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dan
    March 05, 2010
    06:09 PM

    The Emperor initially resisted the switch from plastic bags to cloth.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Erik Villasenor
    March 05, 2010
    06:11 PM

    No really it's not a big deal, don't cry, it's just a dirty fork!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Tim
    March 05, 2010
    06:13 PM

    Behold! I finally found it! The Colonel's Secret Recipe!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By will morris
    March 05, 2010
    06:14 PM

    "Is that really the heart of snow white? Now I am the fairest of them all!!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ian
    March 05, 2010
    06:15 PM

    "Muchas moscas, senor."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ray O.
    March 05, 2010
    06:19 PM

    "Thank you for bringing the head of the previous messenger. Now, if you will kindly remove your helmet and extend your neck, we can be done with this."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Matthew Vargas
    March 05, 2010
    06:23 PM

    "Your ball sack, my lord"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Patrick McAvoy
    March 05, 2010
    06:25 PM

    "You haven't seen The Hurt Locker? It's just like this, only with less swords."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By David Graham
    March 05, 2010
    06:26 PM

    (In honor of the upcoming March madness) ...and the point guard gets ready to drive the hoop past the 2 bigs.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Asha Phelps
    March 05, 2010
    06:26 PM

    "I place the head before you which shall replace my own."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Paul Robinson
    March 05, 2010
    06:34 PM

    curve ball, to the left...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Evan Mather
    March 05, 2010
    06:34 PM

    Heads will roll.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ben Middleton
    March 05, 2010
    06:44 PM

    I am done walking the royal dog my lord.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By BRETT GRAYBILL
    March 05, 2010
    06:49 PM

    honey! your soap's here
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Brad Gills
    March 05, 2010
    06:50 PM

    Don't give me this "Ancient Chinese Secret" crap...tell me how you get my whites so white NOW!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andy
    March 05, 2010
    06:53 PM

    "Did you get forks and knives?" "Forks only...I figured we have sufficient cutlery."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jared Pendergraft
    March 05, 2010
    06:55 PM

    That better not be a cat with lasers coming out of it's eyes!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Brandon Bryson
    March 05, 2010
    06:57 PM

    Lord, I am honored and grateful that you have invited me to your home on the wedding day of your daughter. May their first child be a masculine, Shakespeare-free, child.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mike M
    March 05, 2010
    06:57 PM

    "Does it come with wafers?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Brett
    March 05, 2010
    06:58 PM

    Hey, somebody had to stop M. Knight from makin movies...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jakub Heifetz
    March 05, 2010
    07:00 PM

    The swords are not what they seem.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By bryan alexander
    March 05, 2010
    07:02 PM

    "you missed a spot"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Phil Lander
    March 05, 2010
    07:03 PM

    The donuts you requested, sir.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By brian Pachinger
    March 05, 2010
    07:06 PM

    I LOVE FRESH BREAD!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andrew
    March 05, 2010
    07:14 PM

    What's done is done.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andy Johnson
    March 05, 2010
    07:14 PM

    "I swear, there had better not be another boar's head in there!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Andrew Connell
    March 05, 2010
    07:15 PM

    "I visited your home this morning after you'd left. I tried to play husband. I tried to taste the life of a simple man. It didn't work out, so I took a souvenir... her pretty head."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jake Fredel
    March 05, 2010
    07:15 PM

    He stands next to his beloved, gripping his sword - ready to thrust at the mysterious and possibly threatening head-shaped object.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Bryce Duncan
    March 05, 2010
    07:23 PM

    "It'll make WHAT bigger?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Lex
    March 05, 2010
    07:24 PM

    I said no onion on my burrito!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Haley J.
    March 05, 2010
    07:29 PM

    Yeah, well how would you feel if someone woke you and your wife up in the middle of the night to show them a head?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Eigamushi
    March 05, 2010
    07:30 PM

    Lord: dude..., where's the head? Wife: Where is the head, dude? Lord: Dude!...where's the head? Wife: Where is the head, dude?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Hasan Nadir Derin
    March 05, 2010
    07:31 PM

    Here is your brand new bowling ball sire.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By nick cerny
    March 05, 2010
    07:49 PM

    "I bring to you the babies diapers. Please kill me."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Alexander Bucsis
    March 05, 2010
    07:50 PM

    I warned him.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By JUN1U5
    March 05, 2010
    07:55 PM

    "You fool! I said that, as my healthcare advisor, you must cut costs."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mike L
    March 05, 2010
    08:06 PM

    Bill: "How long do you suppose he can hold it like that?" Jen: "Bill, tell him to put it down."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Rosa Payan
    March 05, 2010
    08:21 PM

    "I'm sorry your highness, this is all we could save."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Vuk
    March 05, 2010
    08:23 PM

    Of all the saké joints in all the towns in all the world, he walks into mine.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Joshua W
    March 05, 2010
    08:23 PM

    "I'm pretty sure you're not a stork."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Adam Goodall
    March 05, 2010
    08:26 PM

    The last thing Coach Mifune wanted after that match was the game ball presented to him.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jaysin
    March 05, 2010
    08:28 PM

    "Oh my god! OH MY GOD! She made me a bento box! Sooooo in love....."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Kyle Wright
    March 05, 2010
    08:39 PM

    My liege! I present the Royal Bowling-ball of Antioch, whose divine powers might provide thee with victory over thine enemies in the upcoming league tournament! May thou strike swiftly with thy mighty arm and dash the pins asunder, so that all might tremble before thee!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By marco
    March 05, 2010
    08:41 PM

    I uh...got you a present.........It's a head. I uh...can't return it. So I hope you like it.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Clancy
    March 05, 2010
    08:46 PM

    "This is NOT what I meant when I asked if you would 'give me head'."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Kiel Vander Wiele
    March 05, 2010
    09:00 PM

    Stacy: Well, don't you want to open your present? Wayne Campbell: If it's a severed head I'm going to be very upset Stacy: Open it. Wayne Campbell: What is it? Stacy: It's a gun rack. Wayne Campbell: A gun rack... a gun rack. I don't even own *a* gun, let alone many guns that would necessitate an entire rack. What am I gonna do... with a gun rack? Stacy: You don't like it? Fine. You know Wayne, if you're not careful, you're going to lose me. Wayne Campbell: I lost you 2 months ago. We broke up. Are you mental?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dan Crocker
    March 05, 2010
    09:13 PM

    In spite of all the many flaws and mistakes present in the invention of baseball, the catcher's uniform has maintained its traditional appearance and function to this day. (Among the earliest changes: distinguishing home plate from the ball.)
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Pete Bublitz
    March 05, 2010
    09:28 PM

    Finally, some dough! You toss and I'll slice. Wait, do we have sauce?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Samuel
    March 05, 2010
    09:32 PM

    "This is the head of the samurai you left on the bar room floor last night, for flirting with your wife."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Tom Helberg
    March 05, 2010
    09:33 PM

    Here is your laundry, sir.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Mark Hendrix
    March 05, 2010
    09:39 PM

    Well, that's a huge noggin. That's a virtual planetoid.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Josh Pfoertner
    March 05, 2010
    09:39 PM

    Alright, I know that previous experience might lead you to believe that this is a good idea. However, this is NOT what I meant when I said I wanted you to give me some head.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Micah Champagne
    March 05, 2010
    09:48 PM

    You better have not forgotten the Potstickers this time! Do you have the potstickers?!?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dr Wong
    March 05, 2010
    09:49 PM

    See, Linus-san? Honorable Charlie Brown wear appropriate protective gear!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Billy
    March 05, 2010
    09:51 PM

    My name is Taketoki Washizu. You killed my father. Prepare to die.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Zach W
    March 05, 2010
    09:54 PM

    "That better NOT be a stone head!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By RAY FREEDMAN
    March 05, 2010
    09:55 PM

    This is the third time you have brought me cold sake, if you fail me once more, ill have your head.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Drew Johnson
    March 05, 2010
    09:56 PM

    "What's this? More good news, no doubt."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Amanda Malone
    March 05, 2010
    09:57 PM

    Special delivery from Don Corleone.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By ML Mitchell
    March 05, 2010
    10:25 PM

    "I seriously hope that is more bars of soap in his sack cause I cannot keep hiding my bloody hands in this kimono forever. People are starting to talk."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Trevor
    March 05, 2010
    10:29 PM

    Get on your knees and give me head.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Chris M
    March 05, 2010
    10:42 PM

    "If I get another bowling ball this year... I swear, it'll be your nuts. That better be a ham."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By nathan
    March 05, 2010
    10:44 PM

    "Shaking hands is uncommon among the Japanese, but again, exceptions are made for foreigners."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Alexander Bucsis
    March 05, 2010
    10:51 PM

    I once knew a guy who made mugs out of these.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By James M
    March 05, 2010
    10:55 PM

    "It's not as fresh as I thought it would be."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By s. a.
    March 05, 2010
    11:14 PM

    Set it down, gently.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Morgan White
    March 05, 2010
    11:18 PM

    When the guy opens the bad a cobra will jump out and attack him. I'll jump out of the bushes and yell "All Hail Cobra" and then we can go grab some sake to toast the poor bastards luck. Sound good?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jonathan McLellan
    March 05, 2010
    11:22 PM

    "It's a little too salty"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Sean Carter
    March 05, 2010
    11:34 PM

    "You have earned 235 points. Only 265 more until we send you a $50 gift certificate."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Samantha Webb
    March 05, 2010
    11:49 PM

    "Finally, Rosselini's War Trilogy, as requested. . .Now hand over my daughter, like you promised!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jonas
    March 05, 2010
    11:51 PM

    "(sigh)...[0] days without an accident in the workplace."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Aerith Arden
    March 05, 2010
    11:52 PM

    "The drinking water dispenser is clearly labeled!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Gabriela P
    March 06, 2010
    12:08 AM

    I hope this finally kills them.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Matt Kovar
    March 06, 2010
    12:18 AM

    "Why not try it on? Just for a moment..."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By ultrafknbd
    March 06, 2010
    12:19 AM

    "Isn't it yours?" "I don't know. You're very beautiful. Are you in pictures?" "Don't be silly."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Alexander Lattanzi
    March 06, 2010
    12:24 AM

    Another late delivery boy soon comes to a sticky end at the Mifune household.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Kevin Pihlaja
    March 06, 2010
    12:26 AM

    "Please don't make me go back and get another one"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Marshall Muse
    March 06, 2010
    12:36 AM

    What is this! A center for ants! How can we be expected to teach children to learn how to read if they can't even fit in the building?!?!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dustin Meadows
    March 06, 2010
    12:45 AM

    You mixed the WHITES with the COLORS? Now you shall pay for your incompetent laundry skills!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Daryl Sanchez
    March 06, 2010
    01:04 AM

    "Well sir, you could say he wanted to get aHEAD!" *rimshot*
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Matt
    March 06, 2010
    01:19 AM

    "His name was Robert Paulson."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Wesley Ashcraft
    March 06, 2010
    01:47 AM

    "All your head are belong to us..."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Charles Deckert
    March 06, 2010
    02:18 AM

    Ah, Mutsuo, I see you've found the head of Alfredo Garcia!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Patrick Bull
    March 06, 2010
    02:35 AM

    It was when the trees started moving that Washizu caved, and finally invested in the local up and coming adult diaper company. Asaji washed her hands of such business.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By CHRIS BLEASDELL
    March 06, 2010
    02:58 AM

    "So you see this is achieved by rolling a magical, highly adhesive ball called a Katamari around various locations, collecting increasingly greater objects, ranging from arrows to people to castles, until the ball has grown great enough to become a star."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ryan
    March 06, 2010
    03:21 AM

    "Roll it and pat it and mark it with a T And put it over the fire for Lady and thee"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By KJ
    March 06, 2010
    03:44 AM

    But master! This rubbery basketball just won't bounce!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Ben B
    March 06, 2010
    05:20 AM

    "Well I didn't think he would actually do it!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jordan S
    March 06, 2010
    06:38 AM

    "There better not be a fucking baby in that bundle."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By August Pestonji
    March 06, 2010
    06:40 AM

    "Don't open it in here! Take it outside..."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By German Gonzalez
    March 06, 2010
    08:32 AM

    He has defeat him... there is nothing left, just war.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By REMY PIGNATIELLO
    March 06, 2010
    08:46 AM

    "Be careful ! The floor has just been cleaned"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dan ®
    March 06, 2010
    09:38 AM

    "Don't make me cut a bitch today."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By BRENT SALLAY
    March 06, 2010
    10:44 AM

    "And I could dribble it even closer to the ground if it were an actual basketball."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By RikF
    March 06, 2010
    10:47 AM

    No, I don't think this is overreacting to late dry cleaning. Have you seen the PJs she lent me?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By REO
    March 06, 2010
    10:52 AM

    The next time you let the Akita indoors, your head will fill that doggie bag.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Jim Williamson
    March 06, 2010
    11:20 AM

    The backorder took months, but your Beatles Remastered USB finally arrived!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By AJ
    March 06, 2010
    11:34 AM

    Agh, I can never wrap these things right.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Sean N
    March 06, 2010
    01:12 PM

    "You really can't see that spec of dust you missed? I'm pointing like right at it with my sword. My sword is pointing right at it, it's right there and you have that giant wash cloth and you still missed it. Great job, you're fired"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By james parsons
    March 06, 2010
    01:26 PM

    Mom! Dad! Look what I found!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Thomas Williams
    March 06, 2010
    02:19 PM

    In pre-Meiji Japan, this was not awkward.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Albert Baier
    March 06, 2010
    03:06 PM

    Man with sword(right): I don't care what you say Mrs. Armadillo! That child isn't mine! You said you were wearing protection! Mrs. Armadillo (left): I was talking about my shell.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Nick Philpott
    March 06, 2010
    03:37 PM

    "Oh, is that-- That's not another head in a bag is it?? That better not be another head in a bag, or I swear, I'm cutting that plastic basket thing right off your head."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By A Smith
    March 06, 2010
    04:05 PM

    Now, if I can just get you to sign here...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Brian Hollendyke
    March 06, 2010
    04:34 PM

    Man #1: "My lord! We have procured the last of the Studio Canal/Criterion Collection DVDs that art going OOP for thy collection." Taketoki: "Didst thou procure the Pierrot le fou Blu-Ray?" Man #1: "... No, my lord. Procure the Blu-Ray, we didst not." Taketoki "... This sword which I see before me speaks. Off with your..." Lady Asaji: "Taketoki. Things without all remedy should be without regard. What's done is done."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Anthony Holly
    March 06, 2010
    05:58 PM

    I'm sorry sir. I got the things you asked for, but the store was all out of your wife's "feminine products."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Daniel Chavez
    March 06, 2010
    06:19 PM

    "This is not the way to get ahead in the military!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By kyle
    March 06, 2010
    07:31 PM

    They REALLY need to simplify their masturbation ritual...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Joe Wakeman
    March 06, 2010
    07:33 PM

    "Son, how did your date go?" "Father, I did what you said, but I could only get her to give me head."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Chris Harper
    March 06, 2010
    10:04 PM

    I don't know why I keep this job, I don't even get insurance.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Evan B
    March 06, 2010
    10:18 PM

    "takeshi's head, sir" "takeshi?" "yes, takeshi" "you mean, takashi?" "takeshi, sir" "takAshi!?" "uh, er, yes, takeshi..." "i said takashi" "oh, i see.." "so whose fucking head's in the bag? takeshi or takashi's?my brother takeshi didn't show up to lunch today, i said takashi" "oh, i mean takashi..." "show me" "you know what...i actually need to go...you should probably just open it yourselves, see ya"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By israel
    March 06, 2010
    11:39 PM

    What is that? Yoga?
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By andrew
    March 07, 2010
    12:22 AM

    "Guys, black is IN now! There's a black man in the white house!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Julian Terry
    March 07, 2010
    02:44 AM

    It brings a new meaning to "giving head"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By J Rockwell
    March 07, 2010
    05:37 AM

    Boss we found the lost 1916 D. W. Griffith version of Macbeth for you!! Hey maybe he lives at the end of this one.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Benjamin Baukol
    March 07, 2010
    06:11 AM

    "Put that head down. Decapitated heads in bags for closer's only. You think I'm fuckin' with you?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By REO
    March 07, 2010
    10:33 AM

    Uri-San, teach me this levitation trick or the only thing flying will be your head.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Manic Miner
    March 07, 2010
    11:27 AM

    "...my spies say they just kick these leather balls all day long in England..."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dustin
    March 07, 2010
    02:58 PM

    "I am sick and tired of that dog of yours crapping all over my floor. You better clean all of it!"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Dan
    March 07, 2010
    04:25 PM

    "I hope this is the guy you asked for, sir"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Matt Wood
    March 08, 2010
    03:09 AM

    No Macduff you say? I beg to differ...
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By josh wilmarth
    March 08, 2010
    04:43 AM

    "you couldn't just bring him alive? i only wanted to talk..."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By John Nelson
    March 08, 2010
    08:51 AM

    Sir, once I spread this dust on the floor, I'm sure you and the missus will agree that the Li'l Jiffy vacuum cleaner is the perfect tool to make your home spic and span!
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By James Bacon
    March 08, 2010
    11:59 AM

    "I told you Macbeth was a cursed play, but NO, you didn't believe me."
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Enrique Chavez
    March 08, 2010
    04:16 PM

    "And where, pray tell, is the platter?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Pouya G.
    March 08, 2010
    04:39 PM

    "I don't clean, I'm not clean, O.K.? .. I Don't Clean, I'm not clean, O.K.?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Chris Leggette
    March 08, 2010
    05:17 PM

    "Rock, paper, scissor . . . head?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By Nathan H
    March 08, 2010
    07:27 PM

    "And where would sir like his leavings to be buried?"
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

  • By ZAKUDOMGOOG
    March 08, 2010
    09:29 PM

    well, i'm not going to pay for this.... the banner on your horse states half an hour or its free.
    Reply

    • Or using your Criterion.com account.

      You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

Or using your Criterion.com account.

You are logged in to your Criterion.com account as . Log out.

Categories

RSS

Archive

Month
Year
 
  • All
  • January
  • February
  • March
  • April
  • May
  • June
  • July
  • August
  • September
  • October
  • November
  • December
  • 2012
  • 2011
  • 2010
  • 2009
  • 2008
  • 2007
  • 2006
  • 2005
  • 2004
  • 2003
  • 2002
  • 2001
  • 2000
  • 1999
  • 1998
  • 1997
  • 1996
  • 1995
  • 1994
  • 1993
  • 1992
  • 1991
  • 1990
  • 1989
  • 1988
  • 1987
  • 1986
  • 1985
  • 1984
Go

Recent Comments

  • “Can someone now please tell me where I can find an audio version of that beautiful music in the intro?”

    Mitch on Three Reasons: People on Sunday,
    about 4 hours ago.

  • “Um, the Blob...?”

    Michael Logan on Monsters!,
    about 5 hours ago.

  • “Blog video : http://xaijo.com/?new-fb.html http://xaijo.com/browse?browse-ft.html”

    mmztikj on The Spirit of the Beehive: Spanish Lessons,
    about 8 hours ago.

  • “The first image he told me about was of three children on a road in Iceland in 1965. He said that for him it was the image of happiness, and also that he had tried several times to link it to other . . .”

    Sandor K. on Sans Soleil Captured,
    about 8 hours ago.

  • “About time you guys looked into "Reptilicus". I expect nothing less than both the original Saga Studios Danish version WITH the flying scenes intact, and the US cut.”

    Mark on Monsters!,
    about 10 hours ago.

Newsletter

SIGN UP to receive info on new releases, Top 10 lists, contests, giveaways, and special offers