Big Comeback Postponed (6/19)

The True Foes bravely faced off against El Destructo last night on a sweltering summer night in Barry Park. Sweat was pouring off the Foes’ faces before the game even started, with orange dirt pasted on skin like poorly chosen foundation. Ah, softball in Brooklyn. We had a shaggy field, sirens in the background, and an alternately annoying and amusing peanut gallery for a few innings.

We had a full team to start, and a few more arrivals later in the game. The opening innings were a little shaky, and El Destructo quickly took the lead. However, the True Foes soon wowed onlookers with their batting prowess, hitting rockets one right after another. The majority were caught by El D fielders, but it was still fun to watch them soar until that point. The other guys made some good contact too, but for the most part they had cheesy, piddling little hits and still somehow got on base. As Jason put it, “we got bloopered to death.”

The umpire was everybody's least favorite—the one with the silly "no crashing into people" rule who also loves it when batters walk. Seriously, where did this guy get his umpire training? At the School of Randomness? There could've been a blindfolded monkey calling the pitches and it would have been just as accurate.

Despite the scorecard slowly but steadily adding up in favor of El D, we did make some great plays. Jason caught a couple of zingers that were headed straight for him, and Issa was fantastic at first—nice double play! Laviola and Willy made great catches in left and right field, respectively, and Cleo covered second like white on rice. Softball Dave and Lipson had some particularly good hits, and Ben covered the expansive center field well. We were happy to have Abbey with us, bringing her skills and spirit to the lineup. Brian and Wendy showed us how it's done, when they ran like lightning, always going for that extra base. I finally learned to slide, and didn't get out at second base this time! I also learned that sliding looks cool but is very painful—my left butt cheek was numb for a good thirty minutes! But the wounded-warrior prize goes to Laviola, who slid on an already banged-up leg and only grudgingly cracked open the first aid kit to wipe off the bloody dirt caked on his shin.

Well, in the end El Destructo spanked us. I think the final score was 17-8 or some such thing. We were very thankful that Mabilon, Fumiko, Finklea, and Johanna were there to cheer us on and help us limp to the bar. We opted for the Water Street bar this time, and enjoyed the powerful A/C and spacious interior. We drank away the pain, and then drank a few more for Jason's birthday. All's well that ends well. We may not be the most polished or consistent team in the league, but if there's one thing we do exceptionally well it's ending the night on a happy note.

There are no tortured Hamlets among us: it is ALWAYS better to play than not to play, and even after a loss there's a sense of satisfaction in having worked hard at something outside the realm of email, spreadsheets, and to-do lists. I don't know if it's the heart, the gut, or just our oft-abused livers, but softball touches something inside the True Foes that keeps us coming back for more. Three consecutive losses? Whatever.

As we look forward to the next game, let's turn to Jay-Z for inspiration:

If you feelin like a pimp playa, go and brush your shoulders off
Ladies is pimps too, go and brush your shoulders off.

You gotta get that dirt off your shoulders, True Foes! Our big comeback is just around the corner, so heal fast and come ready to bring the pain to the next team unlucky enough to play us!

GTF